Going Home

 

So, here's the deal. Mia, in her infinite wisdom, has decided I need to carry this... thing she calls a "murse" (you know, like a man purse, but less manly). It's not like I'm new to her whims, but this? This is a whole new level of "what the heck" for me. 

I'm in my regular guy clothes, you know, jeans, a tee, just feeling normal, right? Then Mia hands me this "murse." It's black leather, and as purses go it's not super feminine, but it's definitely not something you'd see most guys walking around with. 

I'm like, "Really, Mia?" But before I can even finish my sentence, she's got that look. That 'don't even think about arguing' look, paired with the threat, "If you even think of saying no, you'll be carrying something much girlier." I swear, she's got a whole arsenal of humiliation tactics.

So, there I am, this 'murse' slung over my shoulder, feeling like I've got a sign on my back that reads, "Yes, I'm that guy." Walking across campus, you can almost hear the whispers, or maybe that's just my paranoia. Guys are giving me these sideways glances, some with a smirk, others just plain confused. 

I tried to reason with Mia, "Isn't this supposed to be about blending in when I'm not with you and the girls?" She just shakes her head, "It's about expanding your comfort zones, Kayla. And trust me, it's better than the alternative." 

Alternative? I shudder to think what that could be. Maybe one of those little clutch purses or, God forbid, something with sequins. So, I'm stuck with this 'murse,' trying to navigate my day like it's the most normal thing in the world. 

But here's where it gets really humiliating. It's not just the 'murse' itself; it's what's inside. Mia's made sure it's fully stocked with all sorts of girly things. There's makeup - like, full-on foundation, blushes, eyeshadows, the works. I mean, I've had to learn how to use that stuff, but carrying it around? That's a whole new level of awkward. Then there's nail polish. Not just one bottle, but several. Like, how am I supposed to pull out nail polish in front of anyone without looking like I've lost a bet?

And let's not forget the Kotex. Yeah, you heard that right. She says it's for emergencies, but honestly, every time I see that, I die a little inside. Can you imagine me in the bathroom, pulling that out? I'd rather face a firing squad.

Spare pantyhose? Check. Like, why? For those 'just in case' moments? And then there's the wallet. Not just any wallet, but this bright pink, sparkly thing with a butterfly clasp. Every time I need to pay for something, it's like I'm announcing to the world, "Look, I'm carrying a princess wallet!" Even worse, I have a makeup bag and coin purse in the same overly sparkly girly style.

Every time I think about ditching it, Mia's words echo in my head. "Girlier purse." I mean, at this point, I should probably just accept that my life's theme song is now "Embarrassment at Every Corner." 

So here I am, day by day, 'murse' in tow, feeling like I'm part of some weird social experiment. Mia says it's about pushing boundaries, but honestly, it feels more like I'm pushing the limits of my patience. But hey, at least I'm not carrying something with ruffles... yet.