Fiona Checking In 2
Oh @#&#*@!
My older sister Kim goes to school at the University of Wisconsin and she was taking my little sister Holly to start her freshman year at college. Unfortunately, they both paid an unsuspecting visit to me on the way. I should have been thrilled to have my sisters here to take me out for lunch, but as of now I have no access to guy clothing. When classes start, Mia will give me it back, but the girls saw everything. They saw the feminine apartment, the closet full of dresses, the vanity, and needless to say they were shocked. I had never given any indication that I was non-binary or transgender so they wanted to know why I was living as a woman. I didn't know what to tell them, so I told them the truth about Mia and her friends. They wanted to know what was going on and I actually think Kim was concerned that Mia wasn't abusing me too bad. Mia was happy to discuss things with them and even showed them the scrap book that Paige had of me, the recent pinup pictures, and of
You're getting a great lesson being "on the the plus size for women's clothing." Many women, perhaps most, get caught in that general societal judgement about being overweight. Being fat. But you've got an out because you can always think "but I'm not overweight in male clothing" and it can keep out the sense of guilt, the idea that you are to blame. But maybe you can keep the understanding of how many women have to deal with this, who feel judged. Don't start feeling "but it is their fault because they are really women."
ReplyDeleteAnd you should know - you are beautiful dressed up and made up as a woman. A beautiful face, a shapely décolletage (not the breasts, above that where it is all really you.)
I'm sure it's taking you a lot of effort to make yourself beautiful and passable in that way, and you are probably going to have a far more complete understanding of women and people in general because you've been put through this experience.
And this isn't the equivalent of saying "a lovely personality" - I don't know your personality.
But don't rebel so much that you lose track of what you are gaining. (I doubt you do.) Do as Mia tells you, twist your point of view to understand what it wins you. Accept your embarrasment. And get the feel of what it's like when the boys and men around you appreciate you even for your looks. Because they will.